Sorry but I think this is going to be a whiny post. I guess I have to do that once in a while.

I have not been walking much lately, since it has gotten so cold here in Wisconsin. The path by the river is full of snow, and they don’t plow it. My dog does not like walking in deep snow.

Besides, I have been stressed out and eating lots of chocolates and other junk.

I have put on weight again. Last time I weighed myself, I was at 205 - and I started at 207. I had gotten down to 200, so what happened?? Aaarghhh!

I feel so fat too. It is actually getting hard to move around. I don’t remember ever feeling like this before. I guess it will be just more of the same if I don’t get on the stick here.

I did do one good thing - I stopped by the Y on the way home and got their pool schedule. I love to swim, and I haven’t been to the Y in over a year. I think I will just try to start swimming a couple of times a week. It is better than nothing. Better to start slow.

I feel kind of guilty for leaving my dog alone in the evening to go swimming, when I am gone all day at work. But this is serious — I really need to do something. She will just have to survive without me.

So enough whining — I am going to do something about my weight. Besides the swimming, I will try to eat healthier too.

Lately I have been getting out of breath with the slightest exertion. It was starting to worry me quite a bit.

So I have made up my mind to walk the dog for a longer walk twice a day. Instead of our usual 1 or 2 blocks, we are walking about a mile along the nature trail by the river twice a day. It was hard at first, because I was getting out of breath, but I kept on. Now it is much easier already, and I have only been doing it for about 5 days so far. I can go the whole way now without being winded.

It is amazing what such simple changes can do.

Finally, the holidays are over! I will try to blog more regularly now.

I was doing great with my no-sugar routine until our office pig-out day (where everyone brings in treats). I started eating the fudge, then some cookies, etc. If I would have just stopped there, it would have been fine, but after that, I kept eating sweets the whole Christmas season long. Now I am addicted to sugar and chocolate again. I’m going to have to start over again, trying to get off it. Of course, I also gained back 4 of the 7 pounds I lost.

Regarding the 5-HTP I mentioned last time, I did take it for about a week or so. The first couple of days, it seemed to help, but after that I felt worse. I stopped taking it. It is hard to explain; it was a subtle feeling, but I felt kind of damped down. My moods were on a more even keel, but I was not happy.

Since stopping the 5-HTP, I have felt a lot happier. I complain a lot about the holidays, but there were some happy moments. For example, just in the last couple of days …. New Year’s Day was great here - the weather was so sunny and warm. This morning I felt really happy too. Every little thing made me feel happy - like the way I could see the moon large and low in the sky even after the sun came up. The good feelings lasted until I got to work.

Work is part of my problem. It is boring and unsatisfying. I eat a lot more at work than I do at home. I am trying to decide what to do about that.

I always like it when a new year starts. It feels like a blank slate. Whatever happened in the old year is wiped away. So I have high hopes for this new year.

For one thing, I really have to get some exercise. Lately I feel so out of breath when I do anything physical, even takilng a walk or going up the stairs. I have never been this out of shape before! Of course, they say the gyms are filled with new members after New Year’s because of all the people who have made New Year’s resolutions to exercise. I don’t want to be one of that crowd. Maybe I will just exercise at home for a while.

Anyway, here’s to a New Year of great possibilities and achievements! Good luck to you all, and may all your wishes come true.