I’m afraid to get on the scale much, but I did manage to do it the other day, and I’m up to 215 pounds.

My boyfriend and I have been having problems for a while. Now we broke up but he has not moved out yet. All the stress is making me eat more.

It is amazing what stress will do to you. I have been eating tons of chocolate, and now that it’s almost Easter, I ate a bunch of Cadbury eggs too (my downfall). I told you I’m addicted to sugar.

I have even started drinking regular soda (Coca-Cola). I know diet soda is bad for you and can make you gain weight, but regular soda is bad too, especially in the U.S. where it is not even made with regular sugar. It is made with corn syrup, which is even worse for you. I thnk corn syrup will help you gain weight too.

I hardly have any fruit in the house.

I’m depressed about winter too. It has been so cold and snowy this year.

Well, that’s enough complaining. I guess I just had to get it out of my system.

I will try to post more regularly again.

Oh man - I just read one of my previous posts - I forgot all about checking my blood sugar. I will have to start doing that too. Maybe that will scare me away from eating so much sugar.

Yes, I’m really afraid to get on the scale now. I think I must weigh close to 220?!

Instead of losing weight, I am gaining it.

I quit my job in October because I couldn’t stand the commute any more. Since then, I have been trying to get my own business going.

It is hard work and is taking up all my time. But I am exercising less than ever. My commute now is walking downstairs to my home office.

At least, since we got a lot of snow, I have been having to shovel. That has been my only exercise.

I really need to get to the Y. My son is visiting now, though. After he goes back home, I am going to try to get more exercise!

Look at this! Obesity is contagious! Maybe that explains why I have gained 7 pounds since my boyfriend moved in. (He is heavier than me.)

It has been such a struggle lately. I can’t stop eating. I feel sluggish and even a little exertion causes me to be out of breath.

But I am determined to persevere. I have started walking the dog again, and am doing a little time on the elliptical machine every day (for the past 2 days - well, it’s a start!).

Ok, I haven’t blogged here for a while, so here’s an update.

I have been doing lousy on the weight loss front. I am back to 206 pounds, only 1 pound below where I started.

Also, I measured my blood sugar this morning (for the first time in months) and it was 109 - not good. It should be 100 or less. I’m not at the diabetic point yet, but I don’t want to get there.

Exercise: nonexistent.

So what’s my excuse? Well, I’m trying to do too much. Working full time, a long commute, trying to start another business in my spare time, taking an advanced feng shui course… And on top of all that, a boyfriend (someone I dated before - we got back together - the breakup was kind of my fault). He lives about an hour from me, so I rarely see him during the week. But he spends almost all weekend with me - not that I’m complaining, but when am I supposed to exercise?

We are going on a little trip to New Mexico. I feel kind of bad for being out of shape now. I read that altitude sickness is worse when you are out of shape.

Last time I was in New Mexico, 5 years ago, I went up into the mountains my first day, and got altitude sickness pretty bad (felt so nauseous that it was hard to drive). This time, we are planning to be in Albuquerque the first day, and the mountains on day 2. I hope the extra day will help. But last time, I was in a lot better shape.

That is the lesson from this - you have to get in shape now, because you don’t know when you suddenly will wish you were in shape. I mean really wish it.

So what am I doing, now that I have learned this? This week has been hectic, trying to get everything done for the trip and other things. My place was a mess. I really felt depressed. That was yesterday.

So this is what I did (my feng shui training kicked iin). I cleaned up the house. Got rid of all the newspapers and magazines laying around. Cleaned off the dining room table. Cleaned up my office. My boyfriend had put together my new cabinets from Ikea, so I finally filled them up last night, and got all the clutter in my office put away.

Whew. I felt so much better and more in control after that. I really have to recommend it, if you are feeling overwhelmed. A good straightening up of your space will help more than you think, and it doesn’t take as long as you think it will either.

You might not think this is related to weight loss, but it really is. I eat when I feel out of control. If I had not cleaned up, I probably would have spent the evening sitting on the couch eating and stressing out about all that I have to do. (In fact, that’s what I was doing before I decided to clean up.)

I will get more of my stuff done tonight and tomorrow. Saturday morning we are leaving on our trip. I think the vacation will really do me good.

Hopefully I can get into a healthier lifestyle when I get back.

Sorry but I think this is going to be a whiny post. I guess I have to do that once in a while.

I have not been walking much lately, since it has gotten so cold here in Wisconsin. The path by the river is full of snow, and they don’t plow it. My dog does not like walking in deep snow.

Besides, I have been stressed out and eating lots of chocolates and other junk.

I have put on weight again. Last time I weighed myself, I was at 205 - and I started at 207. I had gotten down to 200, so what happened?? Aaarghhh!

I feel so fat too. It is actually getting hard to move around. I don’t remember ever feeling like this before. I guess it will be just more of the same if I don’t get on the stick here.

I did do one good thing - I stopped by the Y on the way home and got their pool schedule. I love to swim, and I haven’t been to the Y in over a year. I think I will just try to start swimming a couple of times a week. It is better than nothing. Better to start slow.

I feel kind of guilty for leaving my dog alone in the evening to go swimming, when I am gone all day at work. But this is serious — I really need to do something. She will just have to survive without me.

So enough whining — I am going to do something about my weight. Besides the swimming, I will try to eat healthier too.