I weighed 118 pounds when I graduated from high school. I am 5′5″, so that was skinny.

By the end of college, I weighed about 130-135 lbs. Still not bad. When I was pregnant with my son, I weighed 165 lbs. at my heaviest. I felt huge. A couple of years later, I weighed 165 again, without being pregnant.

Every time I got to 200 lbs., I got busy, got on a diet, and got the weight down by about 20-25 lbs. The most I ever weighed was 205 lbs. Until now.

Now I weigh 207 lbs. Only 3 more till I get to 210. If that happens, I will cry. How did it come to this, from the skinny girl that I was? This isn’t me.

I never considered myself fat. I just “needed to lose a few pounds.” I don’t look fat to myself. Just a little chubby. I “carry the weight well.” That is, it’s distributed pretty evenly, so my proportions are not too off.

Who am I kidding? I need to lose 1/3 of my body weight !! I am fat!!! I can’t deny it any longer.

I know if I put my mind to it, I can lose the weight. After all, I have lost 20-25 lbs. several times. I just always put it back on (and add a few more).

It is going to need a complete lifestyle change. Diets don’t work. I know I can do this, and I am taking you with me on my journey. Hopefully we will help each other.

I can’t go to 210. I just can’t.