15 November

207 Pounds of Denial

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I weighed 118 pounds when I graduated from high school. I am 5′5″, so that was skinny.

By the end of college, I weighed about 130-135 lbs. Still not bad. When I was pregnant with my son, I weighed 165 lbs. at my heaviest. I felt huge. A couple of years later, I weighed 165 again, without being pregnant.

Every time I got to 200 lbs., I got busy, got on a diet, and got the weight down by about 20-25 lbs. The most I ever weighed was 205 lbs. Until now.

Now I weigh 207 lbs. Only 3 more till I get to 210. If that happens, I will cry. How did it come to this, from the skinny girl that I was? This isn’t me.

I never considered myself fat. I just “needed to lose a few pounds.” I don’t look fat to myself. Just a little chubby. I “carry the weight well.” That is, it’s distributed pretty evenly, so my proportions are not too off.

Who am I kidding? I need to lose 1/3 of my body weight !! I am fat!!! I can’t deny it any longer.

I know if I put my mind to it, I can lose the weight. After all, I have lost 20-25 lbs. several times. I just always put it back on (and add a few more).

It is going to need a complete lifestyle change. Diets don’t work. I know I can do this, and I am taking you with me on my journey. Hopefully we will help each other.

I can’t go to 210. I just can’t.

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5 Responses to “207 Pounds of Denial”

  1. Reese Says:
    November 18th, 2006 at 4:47 pm

    This is an interesting blog. I’ve thought of doing a weight loss blog; thought it might help me to stay accountable, if only to myself. Good luck!

  2. Lucy Says:
    November 19th, 2006 at 10:31 am

    Thanks, Reese! I hope it will keep me accountable :)

  3. daisies Says:
    November 20th, 2006 at 12:08 pm

    hi lucy … i think you are so wonderfully brave … and you can lose the weight.

    i am 5′7 and i have watched the weight creep up from a happy 145 to as high as 215 after finding myself on bedrest last january for months and pregnant with twins and losing my sweet babies and turning to food in my grief. I started going to weightwatchers 3 months ago and have moved below 200 … it is very slow, I lose about 2 pounds per week but its wonderful watching it come off ~ I want to get down to 150 before I try getting pregnant again. sigh.

    I think there are many of us who are cheering you on as we cheer ourselves on : )

    You definitely can lose the weight : )

  4. Lucy Says:
    November 21st, 2006 at 9:45 pm

    Daisies,

    I am so sorry for your loss. Thank you for the encouragement. It is so great of you to think of others amidst your grief. I will be rooting for you too.

  5. Cheryl Says:
    September 8th, 2007 at 10:11 pm

    Hey Lucy!! I found your site while doing a random search for 207lbs. When I started my weight loss journey I topped the scale at 237lbs and thought the exact same thing you did at 207 “If I get to 240 I will be crushed!” Well, I started on the LA Weight Loss diet and after only 11 weeks, I am down 30 pounds. I tried dieting by myself and it would work but ultimately I would start eating bad again. This time I told myself that if I was going to do this it was not going to be a “diet” it was going t be a lifestyle change. That must have worked because it’s been great! I love the support I receive and love seeing the pounds come off! I wish you luck in your weight loss journey and if you ever have any questions, please feel free to ask!

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